Loving Lyn
by Agent H.E.R.O
Summary: "I love you Thomas, I love you so much." When a girl shows up at Downton's door looking for a Mr. Barrow, he finds himself getting into more trouble than he could ever imagine. Why does Thomas care so much for this one girl? What will the other servants think? Takes place after the season 3 Christmas Special but before O'Brien leaves.
1. Where it starts

Author's Note: This story popped into my head while waiting for my friend. I don't usually write ocs but I think just this one story will be okay. Takes place after the Season 3 Christmas Special, but before O'Brien leaves. Please read and review!

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"Is Thomas Barrow here?"

A young woman stood in the doorway. She carried a tiny clutch, her hands were chapped and peeling. Mrs. Hughes' eyebrows shot up. The under-butler didn't get many visitors especially during dinnertime.

"Thomas, there's a young lady here to see you,"

She called with one hand on the door.

He got up from his seat to the shock of the other servants at the table. A lady, calling for Thomas? When he saw her standing outside he put on a soft smile. The rain fell slowly, drops hitting her hat with a soft _plip_. Mrs. Hughes motioned for them to talk outside. Mr. Carson wouldn't permit guests during dinner.

"Lyn, what are you doing here?"

She took a step toward him, her shoes sinking in the mud. Putting a hand on his cheek, she searched his eyes for a moment before her hand dropped from his face. He caught her hand in both of his. She felt the soft leather of his gloved hand.

"I need help,"

His initial smile vanished as he unconsciously gravitated closer. The noise from the servants' hall could barely be heard over the sound of the rain, falling freely on Thomas' black hair.

"Are you in-"

His eyes roamed over her stomach before continuing.

"Trouble?"

She started sobbing then. Her hands traveled to his downstairs' coat. He rubbed his hands over her back, ignoring the rain as it pelted harder. They stood like that for a while. His jacket was soaked; whether from the rain or her tears he couldn't tell. She had no nails to dig into him, had nothing to cling to anyways, except Thomas.

"Are you still outside?"

Mrs. Hughes opened the door watching them.

"Come inside, you can use Mr. Carson's office"

She kept most of her face buried behind Thomas' back. He took her hand and carefully guided her through the doorway as if it was a portal to another world. Ivy and Daisy stopped cleaning the table, noticing the girl hiding behind Thomas. Jimmy and Alfred were still at the table playing cards.

"Who's this?"

Asked Jimmy, putting on one of his signature grins. She shrank further back as if he was some sort of monster. Thomas ignored him moving quicker to the office. Jimmy and Alfred shared a look. Something had to be very wrong for the underbutler to ignore his favorite footman. Mr. Carson was just locking the door when Thomas showed up.

"Mrs. Hughes said we could use your office."

He harrumphed but unlocked the door nonetheless.

"5 minutes, Mr. Barrow"

"Could we have a little more time, please?"

Mr. Carson had known Thomas for a while, and he almost never used courteous speech. He took a closer look at the girl, only then noticing her disheveled state. She wore a soaked hat, muddy shoes, and tear tracks evident on her face. He revised his statement.

"10 minutes"

He sat her in one of the two chairs in front of Mr. Carson's desk. She shivered, goose bumps appearing on her skin. Thomas draped his coat over her, realizing it wouldn't help much since it was wet.

"Do you have a job?"

She shook her head. The tears welled in her eyes again.

"I'll start to show soon."

He didn't bother asking who the father was, she wouldn't know. The last time he saw her she worked at a hotel, cleaning while pleasuring men on the side. He sighed heavily and leaned back on the desk. He felt his bruised ribs protest from the deep exhale.

"Where are you staying?"

He sat down next to her, taking her hands in his own and talking softly, almost like talking to a frightened child.

"I have a small apartment not far from here, but my money's running out."

Thomas ran a hand through his wet locks. This was quite the predicament she was in.

"I'm sure we'll find something for you. I've got some cash saved up,"

She wouldn't look up at him. Her head sunk lower in between her shoulders.

"Unless you want to get married?"

He joked, trying to get her to laugh, however small. She glanced up at him then.

"Do you mean it?"

He must've made a grimace because she almost started crying again. He tried to fix the situation quickly by putting a hand over his injured ribs.

"Sorry, got into a fight the other day and my ribs still hurt,"

She took a deep breath, now uncertain of her place with Thomas.

"If you want to get married, then of course we can."

He pulled the glove tighter on his hand.

She drew the jacket around her tighter.

"Really? You don't mind?"

He tried to brush it off casually, swishing a hand through the air.

"You know how I am. Besides I don't mind spending the rest of my life with you"

She got up from the chair, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his neck.

"My next day off is at the end of the week. We'll do it then so no one will think anything about the baby,"

Just then Mr. Carson came in. He looked appalled at the scene before him. Affection was not to be shown in such a public place, especially his office. He cleared his throat as loudly as he could. They both turned towards him, a blush covering her face.

"Sorry Mr. Carson we've just finished."

He walked her out again. More servants were at the table this time. Anna and Mr. Bates were talking quietly over the newspaper. Jimmy and Alfred were still playing cards. Ivy and Daisy, in a rare moment of respite, chatted next to the boys, eyeing them every so often. Lyn stopped by the door, turning to give back his coat. Thomas pushed it back toward her, taking note of her small smile that accompanied the gesture.

"I love you Thomas, I love you so much."

At that remark the heads around the table shot up. Lyn didn't seem to notice as she walked back out the door, the rain gone.


	2. Who needs friends?

Author's Note: This chapter doesn't explain much more about Lyn but more of how some of the servants take the news. I made Carson kind of a mean but he'll warm up in later chapters. Keep reading and reviewing!

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Thomas searched through the bottom drawer of his dresser, underneath his underwear, to find a little, pink, velvet box. Inside held his mother's wedding ring with what seemed to be the tiniest diamond in the world in the center of the silver band. He never thought he would use the ring, never understood the commitment that came along with it because in his situation it was impossible. Lifting it gently, he imagined sliding it on her finger. With disappointment, he grasped that their wedding 'day' would be an afternoon. He would never have a marriage like the Bates' but maybe it wasn't about true love. Maybe, at least for him, it was about spending his life with someone he simply enjoyed being around. With one knock, Lyn turned his life around yet again. Just an hour ago she gave him a loving wife, a child, and a future outside of Downton. Underneath the box he picked up an old crumpled letter, tea stains on each corner. He perused it, as if he never read it before. The exaggerated loops and heavily slanted handwriting identified it as Lyn's. His hands trembled slightly as he read the love letter.

_Darling Tommy,_

Someone knocked on his door then and he shoved the box and the letter back into the drawer. Jimmy opened the door, a frown forming as he saw Thomas on the ground.

"Do you need help?"

Thomas stood up abruptly, grateful for his new friend's consideration.

"No, just doing some cleaning. What can I do for you?"

The footman clasped his hands, his pupils darting to the upper right corner of his eyes. He straightened out his after work shirt and carefully touched his hair while glancing back toward the door, as if debating whether to leave.

"What is it Jimmy?"

"Who was that girl? Is she looking for a good time?"

Thomas noticed that glint in his eye. He found himself crossing his arms defensively, his soft gaze turning to a hard glare.

"She's not interested in boys like you."

Jimmy huffed and stomped his foot on the floor.

"I am not a boy! I was only asking because no girl would ever want to go out with you if they knew-"

He stopped talking then, noticing Thomas' balled fists.

"If you're so much of a man then why don't you fight your own battles?"

Jimmy visibly paled,

"I didn't ask for your help!"

Jimmy took a step toward the door, his hand on the knob.

"No, but you let me take the beating."

The younger man scrunched up his face and pointed his nose upward.

"We're not friends anymore."

He accentuated each word expecting to see hurt in Thomas' eyes but only seeing a smirk.

"Who needs friends, I've got a wife."

He knew he shouldn't have said it, but it slipped out so easily. Jimmy's eyes widened before he slammed the door.

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The next morning, breakfast between the two was strained at best. Jimmy wouldn't stop glowering at Thomas, his angled toward him, talking to Alfred. The underbutler did his best to ignore the young blond, remaining absolutely silent all through the meal until Ms. O'Brien spoke up.

"Who was that girl yesterday Mr. Barrow?"

Thomas muttered a quick no one before raising the teacup to his lips.

"It's awfully mean to call your new wife no one Mr. Barrow"

Carson seemed to choke for a minute as the rest of the conversations were directed toward Thomas. He swallowed nervously, cursing his loose tongue.

"Are you getting married?"

Mr. Bates clutched his walking stick harder, his knuckles turning white. Thomas replaced the teacup carefully on the saucer before replying.

"Is this true Thomas?"

He glanced up at Mrs. Hughes. With a confidence he wasn't sure he actually felt and told them,

"Yes actually, this Sunday,"

"But don't you like-"

Thomas cut Alfred off mid sentence.

"I've had a change of heart that's all."

"Mr. Barrow may I see you in my office after breakfast?"

He nodded solemnly toward Mr. Carson before staring down at his plate, trying to ignore the bemused looks.

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"Marriage is a big responsibility Thomas,"

Thomas nodded in his seat, knowing better than to interrupt.

"You do realize that you can never be a butler if you're wed,"

He tugged on his glove, an invisible balance weighing in his head.

"Is this because of that girl yesterday? I just don't understand. One minute you're off kissing James and the next,"

Carson took a deep breath, looking at the bruises and split lip that still littered Thomas' face.

"The lowest circle of hell is reserved for those who take advantage of young girls,"

Thomas' eyebrows arched upwards as his eyes slid to the older man.

"Sir?"

He walked around Thomas, circling him.

"I may not approve of your taste, but if you're doing this for a bit of fun,"

He left off there, settling instead for a menacing glare.

The raven-haired man jumped out of his seat. It was bad enough when Carson called him foul, but this was just too much.

"It's nothing like that Mr. Carson. I truly love her, I really do. Besides, doesn't that make me normal now?"

"You'll never be normal Thomas,"


	3. Mending Floorboards

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile but I wasn't sure about continuing the story. This chapter explains why Thomas has to marry Lyn. Read and review!

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The day he got married was not the best day of his life. There was no ceremony before or after. He held her trembling hands in his, his bullet shot hand gloved. Her hands seemed perfect and small in her white gloves. She was squeezing the flowers so hard the juice stained the gloves. No one else was in the church except the priest and the Bates. Thomas had asked them as witnesses.

That night a few days ago had been exceptionally awkward. Anna and John were walking back to their cottage after a long day of work when Thomas came chasing after them. They turned around, both hearing the heavy footfalls. He leaned on his knees, his breaths coming in pants.

"Thomas, what is it?"

Mrs. Bates clung to her husband's arm, a basket hanging off her other elbow.

"I have a favor to ask you,"

Mr. Bates raised his eyebrow, a frown plastered on his face. The cold night air blew by causing Thomas to pull his jacket closer to his body.

"I was hoping you would come to my wedding, as witnesses,"

An inaudible gasp escaped Anna's lips, while Mr. Bates let out a loud laugh.

"You ran all this way for a joke? You really are an odd sort Mr. Barrow,"

His face fell, his eyes searching the dirt path for an answer. Anna released her husband and touched Thomas' elbow. She gave him a small smile, a blond strand of hair falling out of her bun.

"Why don't you explain to us, the cottage is just a little ways off,"

With a gulp, he trailed behind them like a lost puppy. The Bates' exchanged glances, something had to be wrong.

When they finally settled down, Mr. Bates and Thomas sitting at the table and Anna making tea, he started explaining.

"There's this girl, I owe her and she wants to get married."

Mr. Bates leaned his cane against the table and crossed his arms. He tilted his head to the left so his bangs fell out of his eyes.

"I want the whole story, or Anna and I will not be attending,"

Anna came over then, holding a tray of tea. The drink emitted an inviting fragrance. Thomas wrapped his hands around the cup, dissipating the outside coldness. The chair scrapped against the wood floor as Anna sat down, she took a small sip before staring at Thomas across the table.

"It's just, we all thought you-"

She stared at the table before Thomas cut in,

"I do, but Lyn's different,"

He glanced down at his hands, smoke rising from his drink.

The wall clock ticked in the background. The sky continued to darken and with a frustrating sigh Thomas began.

"I grew up with her, we were arranged to be wed at sixteen,"

The room ran silent, the smoke stopped rising from the tea. He took a trembling sip, the liquid almost spilling down his shirt. His throat was uncharacteristically dry. With a clearing of his throat he continued with his story.

"But she had a brother. He was tall and blond with eyes as green as the pine needles during the winter,"

He stared into the distance; Mrs. Bates moved the sugar cup across the table to Thomas, the scratching catching his attention. He took a spoonful of sugar and watched as the grains fell, one after the other into the brown liquid.

"Needless to say, he was the first one I ever loved. He would hang out with me as often as he could. It wasn't that hard since I was marrying his sister,"

He tried not to shutter. He felt disgusted with himself. The back of the chair dug into his back. He could see the arched eyebrows on Mr. Bates and the pity smile on his wife. He continued swirling the already dissolved sugar in his tea.

"I felt trapped. I loved Lyn, but I wanted Grayson. He would wink at me sometimes after we would all eat dinner together. As if he knew the way I felt. He was two years older than me, and a carpenter's apprentice. One day he invited me into his room, offering to show me how to repair a simple crack in the flooring,"

They were both mesmerized now. Their tea cold and untouched. Thomas added another small spoonful of sugar into his tea, looking at the mug instead of their faces.

"I jumped at the chance. He locked the door after I was inside though. I didn't know what I was expecting, but not what he did."

He took another sip of his still bitter tea. He felt the rough wood table underneath his fingers.

"He pinned me against the wall. For a minute he just stared at me with those wild eyes of his,"

His hands balled into fists, his eyes drooped.

"Then he kissed me. I tried to fight him off. I kicked and pushed but he just held me harder and whispered into my ear. I could hear the doorknob jiggling. I tried to tell him, honestly, I did, but he was too busy unbuttoning my shirt,"

He swallowed the rising bile in the back of his throat.

"The lock broke and she came in with a tray of sandwiches. When she saw us, when she looked at me…"

He felt tears well up in his eyes, shame burning crimson on his cheeks.

"She sprinted out the door. I went after her, my shirt half off, my hair a mess. I remember finding her by the bridge. It was rumored that all the couples in our town came there after their honeymoon and kissed for good luck."

He played with the napkin on the table, unfurling and balling up the paper in his hands. Sweat staining the cloth.

"She wouldn't look at me. I remember her hair falling around her face, her similar green eyes burning with hatred, and betrayal. Her pale arms beat against me and her red lips were chapped from the cold. She screamed at me, shouted profanities I didn't think she knew. She threatened to call the police,"

John held Anna's hand in his, their interlocking fingers made Thomas sick.

"I can't describe how beautiful she was that night, hot tears streaming down her face. But I didn't love her like that, and I don't think she really loved me. She was angry that her brother, the one person she trusted, stole her fiancé from right out under her. She didn't call the police or tell anyone, and in exchange I would be in her debt,"

He let out a shaky breath and put a hand to his head. The Bates exchanged another glance before John shook his head.

"We'll come Thomas,"

And so he found himself staring at the girl he should've married years ago.


End file.
